Where do i start n how do i put it in words.. let me see, i doubt he will eva realise this.. He was my sec schmate whom i always had a small thing over him in the beginning, maybe it was his dimples.. hahaha but i never made it a big issue.. i wasnt close to him though we would only speak if we had too, but i was close to the rest of his frends... as everyone knows im such a chatterbox n non stop noise.. so i got along pretty well with guys even those bengs or wat so eva la.. wen i retained sec 3 tat is wen everything changed, i was pratha's classmate n of cos there was darlin seles n all, i think in one of our truth or dare games i actually admitted of the crush i had on him n tats it everyone passed it on n made it such a big issue.. at tat point of time premkumar my very gd fren of tat time used to have a big big crush on pratha, n i think she started likin him too, n wat did ass did was she told me the day i go on with arul is the day she will accept prem.. at that point of time i could have killed her.. but i m a nice person so i left her alone..But later on his classmates started forcing him, cos they knew i had a crush on him, n i got letters which he never wrote abt n all tat.. i knew he didnt like me at all in the first place, but we started talkin n gettin to know one another, he was so against to havin a gf cos of his background n being a gangster n so on... but i accepted it i spoke to him abt it he felt better towards me later n things jus started happening, n i can never imagine a time being that happy.. he was everything tat i tot abt dreamt abt even talked abt.. his name was like somethin noone shud eva say somethin bad abt.. I know he liked me, wen the time he stroked my hair n held my hands n goodness at tat moment everything seemed perfect, u know i have never had crushes n fell in love in pri sch or knew abt love matters till i met arul, n he was very impt to me cos the manly role in my house all he was doin was giving me probs beatin n fightin with my mum, how will i eva talk to him?? but arul was there now n he listens n he knew my pain not long after my mum found out made a big fuss, made the truth come out from my mouth.. tot i was going crazy cos every book i had had his name written on it, i loved him more then i loved myself la, for all i knew was him me n a future of hapiness cos he seemed promisin n he was the nicest person he gave me confidence gave me hope wen my parents found out tat everything was going to be ok n he is not gonna say gdbye cos of it.. N after all tat.. he did he left me n i was lost n my world of hopes dreams n confidence shattered.. He fell in love with someone else n he is happy i guess.. wateva he is doin n whoever he marries jus want him to have a gd life, n hope he doesnt forget me n i really wish at 1 point of time he thinks to tell his children there was this gal whom i loved called "Ranjini.." and as for me im jus gonna go ahead n get my heart broken but not anymore la.. i dun intend to give it to anyone who is jus out there to use n leave me..
Better meanin for this would be i feel like ive got no life.. no enjoyment no happiness no nothing.. im jus stranded all alone with frends who care but yet i feel sooo lonely! Life jus sucks la i was nt born with beauty but y not rich or something.. i really wish i could sleep better n feel better, the person i m becomin is jus not me, i need to be my old self but wats wrong with me??? Im tired for now n in loads of pain body n mind! Gd day n god bless u all
Im getting ready to go to work on a sat afternoon.. man im sooo bored!! k anyway jus took my shower need to get ready n leave soon.. poor ganesh aka as tigger is mad at me for saying he is a tigger instead of tiger!! hahaha but who cares cos i know the truth always hurts!! lol take care n love u ppl..
Cool ah? i was soo sad tat i wanted to get my mind off stuff so i got busy.. n now its done.. hmm the song is my fav hope u guys like it too.. man the time has passed soo fast.. well my days r the same la.. sleep early in the morning n will be up in the afternoon ard 12+ then slack ard for awhile n start gettin ready for work.. i hate this life big time!! Hmmm anyway ive got work later at 4 till 9.30 pm today.. how unlucky me where rhe rest will be out spending time with loved ones!! Sobzz me gt noone wat? so y bother ah!! SighZZ!!
Always my fault, i always say the wrong things, i love to get into trouble, i m soo gd tat everyone hates me, always finds faults in me or with me, gd for nothing, always the one who got bfs n loafin ard, the worst daughter n wat else la?? oh ya n the worse sister who is hated cos im changed diff n strict! n i never listen!! Man wat else do i have to hear from peepz..
Sooo cool janey porky has got herself a blog.. now i can read up on tat bitch! Hahahaha so glad to have found her n her being part of my life is a dream come true.. i have met lots of frends went thru ups n down of frendsip.. but its going to be 8 yrs this yr we have known one another.. but we get along real fine.. she is like my mum my older sis my annoying frend at times an idiotic grandma!! Love u lots ass... jus cant imagine my life without ya! So i guess u will say like a holy person its all god who created this.. so yea Thank u god for a frend like janey!! Porky or can i say panni! Hahahaha Love Ya...
Well atfirst wen u r at sch u cant wait to get out n look for a job so tat u can earn money but now all i do is wrok work work.. as the sayin sayin goes all work n no play makes jane a dull gal... n me too i miss sch i miss fun i miss laughin loudly miss chattin n miss munchin with buddies.. aiyaa all i do is sleep wake up go work come home n sleep.. man life sucks.. well the only gd thing is a i get money but money cant buy all tat i wanna do can it?? hmm... its gd in another way im not free cos if im free i wont stop eating n i will put on more weight then i already have... hmm sobz :-( , well wish i loose weight easily.. i cant beleive ppl some say i lost n some say i bloated up.. but i guess to all still ranjini is adorable rite?? hahahaha k jokin guys dun puke.. anyway its way past bed time i gt home at 11+ had two slices of bread n butter was online chattin with my damn china- - -> Jane n the gang.. kinda missin them big time especially chits n all... we have so much to catch up n i hope we do tat soon... well guess i better get my ass to bed so tat i can be up at 12+ n go work! hahaha love u all god bless n miss me loads more guys!! Hehehehe! Oh n Hey i wanna talk abt an incident which happened today i was kinda feeling like " oh tat boy is soo cute!!" know y cos i was at the punggol park bus top waiting for the bloody 62 to arrive which always comes late.. so while waiting there was this father n son at the bus stoo they bought dinner.. the boy was small he looked like he was 4 but wen he spoke it was like he is smart n cute.. This is how their conversation wen its a short one though..
Dad: Ur hair is growing long.. Y dun u go for a Hair cut
Son: No i dun wanna cut my hair, i wanna become a lady!!
Dad: Hey y do u say tat?
Son: I wanna become a girl so i dun need to go army!!
Hahahaha cute ah he was soo adorable wen he said tat i mean he is already thinkin soo much ahead wen he is jus 4 kids nowadays really suprises after surprises.. man hope he grows out of it n agrees for a haircut.. K Peepz Gd morning n sweet dreams to me!!
Well its almost a week since i started work its gettin better each day n im feelin much comfy wit ppl ard too but there is yet to come all the things im suppose to encounter.. hmmm these r wat my frends say abd f n b line but so far its kinda goin ok of cos i do still do mistakes but they seem to be kinda ok abt it hopefully they are.... Well this isnt the main thing which is happenin ard me.. im stuck as in i dunno i should move on n not care for once whom i loved alot or as he was my ex bf be there for him n be his fren..I cant move away from him at the same time i think by being with him its gonna make me feel depressed tat things didnt happened the way we want it to be.. i kinda have to talk to him like i aint interested.. but tats not how i really feel i do love answerin his phone calls n knowin he is alrite n i mean i still know he loves me as wat he says la.. i hope its true n not one of his lies again! I cant forget him for he is whom i put in alot of effort gave up principles of my own n also was able to forgive his mistakes nt once or twice but god knows how many times.. so he changing me this way can show how much he actually meant to me.. but guess noone knew especially his family i can tell tat none of them know how much i love him, they may think its their son who was crazy over me y cos he had to come report to her every little detail abt the both of us n of cos his part but nothin of mine even if it was our usual squabbles or major ones its always his side of his story which she knows... n y didnt i tell her mine cos i tot it was of no use.. u know y cos he was her darlin son she would do anythin for n knew nothing of wat her darlin son is capable of doing.. nothin abt gettin into fights nothin abt bein in a bloody gang nothin of havin gfs, but if somethin happens like he was charged for fightin in camp it wa san amusement for her.. she always supported her son i dun blame her she is his mother n she can be forgiving n giving him chances all his life! but im his gf n if im gonna live my life with someone like this will it make my life proper or will i be in tears all my life! I admit he was the sweetest n the most carin but when it comes to communication n understandin it was zero among us my language n his was totally diff... guess its jus meant to be n im never gonna have a gd relationship with anyone... so im giving up jus wait for the rite one to come n i guess i shall jus end up gettin married to him.. hahahaha lame me! Anyway im really tired n confused with all this... All this is cos of the questions he jus asked me will i be his fren always n be there for one another always.. Will i be able too?? I hope fpr everything to happen for the best la i wish my mum doesnt get to know all this...
Well its like wat 3rd day of work n im kinda gettin use to it as in the same old lines same old choices of pizza hahaha kinda gettin better with it la.. n today did somethin new like with MONEY!! scary at first but later was kinda cool all i was doin is makin check how much each rider brought back n how much they owed n all those receipts which went for petrol n all la.. was doin tat n also was the only one left after my partner who was there till 8+ since there were nt much calls could handle had a few take away orders also.. kinda scared of i gt the rite pricing but was ok la learned to memorize a few man.. hopefully i do ok la.. as long as i get paid n dun screw up there im fine.. well jus came to update gonna sleep soon so hope everyone is ok n havin happy times! God bless u all n my budds im missin ya n i love ya loads!!!
If onli i was allowed to keep tat poor kitten we found yesterday although i kept it for the nite n now im kinda sleepy.. cos kittens r really playful n she is soo sweet with her green eyes n tiny bites.. she loves chewing n yea me too!! hahaha who can resist me ah? even animals cant!! hey u jealous pigs stop chokin n all cos the truth is u all also know how irresistable i m rite?? hahahaha ok ok so i cant actually keep any other pet in my house cos of my darlin dog who is super jealous of any other thing we show concern too.. so it was our mistake for nt bringing her up with another animal.. hmmm... i left the kitten out with her box we gave but the box is there i dunno where she went my mind is filled with her n how dangerous outside can be like "liftdoors, Big Drains, Cats, Dogs n so on" I wish tat sweet thing is fine cant wait to see it later wanna hold it so badly.. haiyaa anyway me got work at 6 later so will be leavin ard 5, hopefully work will be fun n i get better at it today haven memorised hte prices for the side orders hopefully the peeps there understand.. ppl at punggol r kinda frendly especially the rider guys who were playin magic n talkin to me all the time they were free n i was nt attending calls.. hope i get along well n do a gd job la.. atleast im occupied.. so tats it for now im missing the kitty she was playing with my toes fingers paper balls strings n dunno wat all la.. i miss her!! Hmmm cant wait to find her.. will be blogging tonite again so take carel ove ya all!!
HaPPi BiRtHdaY SwEeTy...
Its my purusha's birthday!!! ya rite ah? hahaha anyway happy birthday to u madhava.. may all ur wishes n dreams come true.. best wishes for ur actin career too!! Well i have like the worse days of my life ever since sch ended man all i do is rot at home i sleep in the early mornin n wake up in the afternoon n i jus sit infront of the tv or the comp n rot all day!! man life sucks.. n as u know im bloatin up like wat jane n vincent says i have got to do something! sad la.. i haven decided on wat i wanna learn a new language like hindi or a musical instrument.. was thinkin of takin mandarin gd for my future rite?? lets see la.. i wanna job so badly!! would some kind soul get me one!! hahaha k me gonna watch zero to hero so be back in an hour peepz!