It takes a minute to like someone,
It takes an hour to love someone,
It takes a life time to forget someone.
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YTuesday, July 26, 2005

Why m i feelin this way...
U know gettin vasan out of my mind is the toughest thing eva.. not tat i can eva do so.. u know i watched a tamil movie called devathai kanden.. its abt a normal guy fallin in love with an educated gal.. she falls in love with him too.. n he really loves her a whole lot.. but wen it came to marraige decision she left her lover(babu aka danush) for a doctor, cos he was well to do n she imagined her life with both these guys n made her mind up tat livin with the rich guy would make her life easy.. so she would break babu's heart.. it really hurt me badly i guess im a sentimental freak but i kinda felt the pain for him.. n if i eva find a guy like him i dun care if he is rich or not.. cos i know with the love he has for me, he will sure find ways to come in life just to keep me company.. i started thinkin abt vasan.. me n vasan the story was the same but i didnt leave him cos i tot i wanted a luxurious life.. its cos he cant stand up for himself, his mum decides everything, she thinks he is always right, he lied to me, he can never make a decision on his own.. all he knows is his mum n wat she says.. I dun say the mum's at fault but if he continues this way he wont be living on his own n havin a family, well wat can i say.. all the love i had for him jus was for no use.. he assumes he loves me n he cant forget me but he has already moved on wit some gal who is in love with him, frankly i dun think any gal will like a guy wen they first meet after talks n outings is wen u like a guy, but i dunno abt their story.. jus wish him all the best.. as for me..as usual rejecting all the proposals n avoidin except one.. but i dun call it love.. Its bala n i guess a few of my frends know abt him.. eva since private o days which were back in 2002 or earlier gt to know him online n became frends.. it was love for him on the phone calls itself, as for me nothin drew me to him besides he was a pretty boy gd features n cute.. but we cudnt get along he was always fightin with me over whom i spoke too n so on wen i wasnt even his gal..n i jus moved away n lost contact.. till recently after a long long time.. met him he recognised me suprisingly.. k abt me nowadays i dun like lookin at anyone n i walk blindly to where im suppose to reach.. so the same way walkin n he stopped me n to my suprise it was him n he sure looked better n sounded more mature n changed.. cudnt talk for long cos i was rushin to work.. exchanged numbers, sms comes in without fail.. every single day tat im soo used to receive his msgs tat nowadays i keep checkin my phone wether i received his msgs or not.. he seems to be changed,but i guess not his love which he reminds me off everyday.. He is sweet, charmin bla bla oh n he calls me "baby" this piggy baby? totally no he admires me for the person i have grown up to be.. the kiddo he use to love is now a better woman it seems.. well well well i m growin up i guess... I dunno wat i call this i know it aint love but im scared it may become like tat.. i have known him for so long, know his character n so on but wats stoppin me, there is lots of things.. guys n love is a cycle everythin is sweet n beautiful at first then later part it becomes hatred n tat changes into unfrendly language n then its over.. so to prevent all this i dun ant anything.. i hope i settle it out with him, he kinda understands wat im goin thru but he is hurt cos he says "Eva since u left i have never loved anyone.. wat is holding me back.. i have always been tat special gal in his heart for this past 2 yrs.. he had my home number but didnt dare call to avoid home probs.., i knew i would see u n i finally did!" Awww sweet isnt it but im not fallin i feel liek im closin up all my doors n my heart is becomin a rock.. vasan is the person whom i fell in love with truly deeply madly but wen he left me he took everythin i gave him n forgot to give me back n tats y i feel tat i cant bring myself to give all this to someone else.. not now n jus not yet....


•I LoVe The Way U LuV Me*.
12:10 AM


YMonday, July 25, 2005


Glad...

Know i never knew i was lucky enough to meet people like sri devi akka n all my frens.. most ppl say careful and i can bet u ur frens wont be with u wen u have a problem.. as for me not as if all my frends were the rite ppl.. some did make me realise whom i should trust n whom i shouldnt.. but im a person who forgives n forget easily n i easily trust a person.. tats the prob with me and everyone says tats y some ppl climb over my head.. but i cant help it can i.. Anyway jus wanna say thanks for bein a true n patient with me listenin to all my doubts my confusion my probs my happiness everything.. Jus feel real lucky.. to sri akka if u eva read this.. thanks ka.. i dun know u well but as i made the decision a few months back to add u as my frend n so on atfirst i tot y add her i n her have nothin to talk or chat abt, but then again i was wrong.. u never failed to tag me n ask how i m and always msg me on msn.. then as we started taggin each other i felt like u were a sister i always wished to have.. but im glad i do have a sis like u now.. im really happy to have gotten close to u now.. durin sec sch days i had respect for u looked up to u.. n now i love ya.. hahaha take care n everythin u go thru in life has a reason ka jus have to wait n see if it was for the gd or bad.. so wateva the reason is i met u, we will know later i guess till then im glad i have got u in my life.. hehehe u rock simply sweet n gorgeous as her name describes her.. Take care always here for u if u need me my dear sis.. and hey u guys my psychotic frenz will neva forget ya.. n jane wu although ur bloody chinese rite u jus seem to know wat i go thru n wat i think so well.. n hey i do listen to all ur advices but its jus tat i dun wanna get hurt.. i think instead of bein in a relationship wit a guy n loving him.. i'll be much better off with lovin u my frenz.. so love u all i know u all love me too.... hahahaha muuaacckkzzz!!!




•I LoVe The Way U LuV Me*.
10:00 PM


YFriday, July 22, 2005

Wats new in my life....
Well wat can i say.. workin as usual.. n i coloured my hair yesterday not how i wanted it to be.. my n usha my colleague both been cheated we now look soo alike though.. already everyone at work things im her younger sis or relative n now tat our hair is like almost the same man.. The best part of yesterday was i finally got a msg from vasanth was really happy but wat the msg wanted to know n wat my janey replied him was soo heart breakin.. he asked abt my posts n tot it was abt my 1st love arul.. noone would be tat dumb to ask me abt the guy bein who? man at times i dunno where he keeps his brains.. well he seems to be soo different towards me but he thinks im diff everyone sees the difference not only me, janey n all also see it they think im so stupid to be hanging on to nothing.. wen he is nt interested abt life or me anymore.. he hardly calls msgs n so on the person he used to be is totally not him.. well i dunno wat all this is gonna end up in.. as for life now all i get is ppl who asks me to appreciate their love for them understand their feelings n are tryin to make me feel my best.. but i dun see anything between me n any of them.. maybe its cos im not over him.. im sorry in advance for hurtin ya in the future... wat my frends say is im being dumb shudn close myself up go out make frends get my mind off vasanth n bla bla bla.. easier said then done gals.. hmm i will i guess once i start realisin the truth n take the facts tat vasanth is never gonna be mine n his life is diff from mine.. well i got work later i shud stop confusin myself before i screw things up at work! missin u my frendzz n god bless ya all.. mmuuaacckksss


•I LoVe The Way U LuV Me*.
2:00 PM


YWednesday, July 20, 2005

Incomplete....

Wats with me.. i have got my annoying but cute family n my frends whom i hardly have time to meet up with, but all the more everythin seems fine.. but i feel so bored, life is meaningless, something feels to be missing.. which i dunno y.. all i think abt doesnt seem to be the solution for my feelings.. maybe im jus missing someone badly but tat cant be helped.. Not everyone knows the truth n understands me.. Well jus wish everythin goes on fine.. n i dun wanna loose control n do things which i shouldnt do esp to tat family n him... But maybe its something else im lookin forward too.. My age maybe playin games with me ... Oh man life really is sooo boring.. oh n my i miss my sista.. guess cos i haven spoken to her for quite some time tat poor little gal has been sick so she is asleep wen i get home.. hmm hope she is ok n stupid bitch be awake today atleast.. God bless everyone n love ya all.. mmuuaacckkss





•I LoVe The Way U LuV Me*.
1:25 PM


YSunday, July 17, 2005

I Missed Him Sooo much...
So glad to see my dearest uncle back.. was soo excited on the way to his place.. my family n i were goin for his birthday gatherin jus between us as in our family.. Wah wen i first saw him i was like wow he looks soo gd hahaha the own niece admiring my uncle.. with all the hard times he went thru he surely lost lots of weight n looks soo small... me n my sis keep goin to each other n agreein on 1 thing which was he looks gd n hot! hahahaman it felt rite as how it always used to be wen i was younger jus laughter n happiness... all the small brats were there too.. most adorable n one my goodness out of control, i really wish there is a way to change him for his age he talks n behaves very badly.. his mouth can kill tats how mean he is with his words.. I m jus glad my uncle is back the person who loved me n cared for me the most since i was a baby.. hehe my jealous sista always rolls her eyes wen they compliment me.. hahahaha.. Anyway life has been the same jus surviving n wakin up everyday for no reason.. well miss my frends n love u all


•I LoVe The Way U LuV Me*.
11:06 PM


YWednesday, July 13, 2005

......

Practically nothing.. nothing good or nothing bad or interesting has happened to me in this past week.. n tats y no entries!! Im getting sick of this really.. Life has become something with no meaning.. I wish i have a reason to move on n wake up each day.. Well jus hope everyone elses life is okay.. u know my frends whom i used to be real close too.. its nt the same anymore.. besides jane elias jie ni alex we still kinda close n all but chitra kengyam are busy n not able to be able to be with us.. guess each of them has their own responsibility.. n i wish they r ok.. esp chitz miss all the times we had seriously.. hmmm i wonder if she misses me too?? who knows.. maybe she is... as for ky he doesnt seem to be interested to talk to any of us wen he comes online always ignores us wen we say hi n so on.. hmm i wish he is ok n i miss him loads too.. well i cant wait to get together soon hmmm life sucks...


•I LoVe The Way U LuV Me*.
1:10 AM


YFriday, July 01, 2005


Wat do i do??
Man im soo bloody confuse.. k im in a job currently where i get 4 bucks per hour n get treated real nicely very comfy with the job but distance is kinda far n pay nt good, n i got asked to attend an interview for a job at the airport on sat with a better pay prospect n experience.. wat shud i do? i dun wanna quit my current job they didnt hire anyone else cos they tot im gonn be workin all the way if i leave they gt noone i need to help them i mean wat else can i do for them.. i mean more ppl they have gd business n if business improves they mite increase everyone's pay rite? anyway i dunno my parents r complainin abt current job cos pay too little n so on.. but i enjoy it.. anyway i will go for the interview but also ask them if i can work on fri sat n sun.. cos at canadian there is ppl workin for weekends cos the other operators have a full time job on the weekdays.. hmm i wish everythin goes on well, but the best part of the airport job is the uniform is to die for.. its my dream job actually but even though i take tat job i gt to start schoolin in april next yr.. so i wonder if they will take me in?


•I LoVe The Way U LuV Me*.
1:30 AM