YSaturday, March 31, 2007
Hey all... Jus got home awhile ago... very very tired.. but i have been wanting to blog.. dunno why.. hahaha crazy me.. Anyways things at home are bad as usual.. wish i can turn back time.. Visitin Balqis this past few days and seein wat she is goin thru is sad... but i know my darlin is strong and she will get well soon... Im glad she liked the gift she got.. I know she wud have been expectin me to be there today.. but im sorry dearie will be there tom i mean sat... While i was lookin at her strugglin to eat her dinner... her dad was talkin to me abt my life now.. my work and all.. told him where i was workin and he said im sure ur goin thru hell... i jus laughed and said its actually a fun job but its the management tat sucks... he was like listenin to me, he seemed very concerned.. told him abt the pay matter and all.. I told him i have got sch fees to pay and financial crisis at home.. with all this i cant live wit tat kinda pay im gettin.. told him im lookin for another job... he asked me.. ur soo young why do u burden urself wit so many things.. ask ur dad to help u, pay for ur sch... i said no he doesn want too, he said this is my life i deal wit it... so he said cant he even help u pay half... i mean look at u, i can see u got lots of dreams and im sure u will achieve it.. but dun stress urself... i told him i will be ok..then he said ask ur bf to support u la.. i said he is studyin too... i told him its ok i can manage.. as long as i got support from the ppl whom are close to me.. he said yes very true... Said all the best.. Thanks uncle im sure u will see that im fine once im doin well.. Knowin my dad i know he rather use his money on other things then this house n the ppl... Haiz!! im tired actually mentally.. Spendin time wit frends makes me cheer up and once im back alone im soooo upset.. i jus cant wait to get a job... hopefully i get called up for the job which i applied for soon.. God pls have mercy! pls hear our cries!! the bad are gettin the best.. the good are still cryin for help.. God pls be with everyone.. and guide us thru.. Love u all.. muax!Nitex!!
•I LoVe The Way U LuV Me*.
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YThursday, March 29, 2007
Well.. im lookin for a job.. wastin time and growin fatter is all my dad has to say wen i see him, wit all the probs in my head and all tat is goin thru at home.. i jus feel like exploding.. but sadly i cant!!! Frends and my pets are the ones who brighten up my day.. i realise everyone has their own family dirty secret.. As Sri ka jus told me.. noone is worth my tears.. frankly i also realised that we cant depend on anyone in this life.. not even our parents.. its jus left wit us, so being the best of frens wit ur life partner is the best thing.. Being wit him and knowin him well.. if he is a good guy he will be nothin like my father.. Haiz...Oh god jus pls let me get a damn job soon!!!LoVe Ya All!!Muax!!
•I LoVe The Way U LuV Me*.
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YTuesday, March 20, 2007
Hey everyone.. i know its been long.. its jus ive got quite a number of things in my head.. Family.. Future.. Frenz.. Jus lost a fren who has been there thruout my ups and downs for the last 10 yrs.. I jus wish things were settled and solved in a better way, things blew up and a small issue became a major one.. My dear sweetie who has got to be strong for the operation she is abt to go thru.. pick urself up and pls jus get this done and over wit so tat u can be back on track to annoy the rest of my life.. worryin abt a screwed up relationship wit a dumbwit isnt gonna do u any good.. He is a jerk for the starters.. I know u will meet ppl worthy then this looser.. Nori i hope ur ok, u have been sick for the past few days.. i also hope things between u and him are better.. Chitra congrats on gettin into poly..Im really happy for ya, if only i also applied wit ya and probably wud have gotten in too.. But situations where i have to work instead.. haiz!!
I think its every child's dream to have loving parents towards themselves and to their kids.. Lets jus say i have not come from tat kinda family.. It has been a broken one a long time ago.. Bein Hurt and Cries is all i have mostly seen in my family.. Im really affected by it.. admittin it, im mentally affected and those who are close to me know tat... me being afraid of everythin my self esteem my will and confidence.. Paul i know u want me to change my thoughts abt myself.. i know u love me to death and i trust u awhole lot.. U always say im the best to u, i do like myself now cos of the love and happiness i can give to u.. All u say is wat i truly wanna believe my heart does but my head ponders... Im afraid i seriously am... 2 to 3 yrs time im gonna be married to the most amazin person.. of cos i will have a family with his side too.. Will i be a gd wife? will his side still like me as much as they love me now? will i make everyone happy.. With all the mess i have seen in my family all that is happenin now.. thinkin abt it makes my head hurt real bad.. all this is in my head.. i jus had to let it out..
Paul u have been workin and ur extremely exhuasted.. tellin u all this after a hard day at work, im sure u will be upset or angry.. i hope u understand.. I have no doubt tat u love me paul.. i jus dun know why, i guess im jus afraid of not wantin to become like my parents.. wit the amt of hurt everyone has here it scares me.. I know my thinkin will change da.. i know it will jus need lots of time and patience.. Wit u by my side i know i can get over anything.. jus promise to be there till my very end MiMi.. I always envy people wit a happy family, im sure every family has its prob.. but a family filled wit love is the best family eva.. I have always wished for things to get betta at home.. wished my dad would realise his mistakes and change.. I guess tat will neva happen cos i have been wishin for the past 23 yrs.. I jus hope im a gd person or a good woman.. I betta get to bed.. head hurts real bad.. NitEz Everyone.. I love u alll!! Muax!!
•I LoVe The Way U LuV Me*.
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YThursday, March 08, 2007
Well.. i know im bein loved so much for the way i am, I know he loves the way i dress and everythin else.. he has neva once complained abt how im dressed... but i always feel i shud look nice for him, not to impress him or make him go head over heels with me which he already is, somethin inside me, its jus keeps ringing.. he is urs and its ur responsibility to keep him wit u, As he says im his perfect rose, his sweetest angel but why doesn my stupid mind let me believe all tat in peace.. i know his words r truly meant but i on the other hand, dun think i am.. On lookin at us together lots of ppl have commented.. good ones and bad ones.. the bad ones always were for him, which i soo disagree... he is very good lookin.. he has this charm and personality which Woo -Hoo! me over!! hahaha!! We are always asking wat he or me shud wear wen we r gonna meet.. he wud say i wud like to see u in this top n pants or somethin... n vice versa.. I know for sure that he will neva go for anyone else.. Haiz!! im goin insane maybe cos im so in love wit him, tat i wanna be the best for him... Wat do u guys think? is looks and dressin up and lookin good impt in a relationship?
Paul u were sooo sweet yest, thanks for all tat u said.. The love u see in my eyes the happiness and the way i am now.. its all cos of u, u made me this way.. im happy very happy!! cannot be happier! I love u mimi!! Hope u all have a gd day.. love ya!! Muax!!
•I LoVe The Way U LuV Me*.
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YWednesday, March 07, 2007
Well... haven been bloggin for quite sometime can say tat im lazy and also quite a few things on my mind.. this job is gettin me nowhere.. i really have to do something better to get my own things settled n done.... Bills after bills, financial crisis man!!! i hate goin thru it, everythin else is fine, life at home seems betta, when it used to be me goin thru mental torture from my dad makin me do wat he wants me to do, now my sis is goin thru it for her studies.. Love life its amazin as always.. havin the best bf how can i feel like im missin somethin... i love ya mimi!! Haven been able to catch up wit frends or talk to them... iim sorry though.. i wish everythin gets settled soon.. Applied for loads of jobs online today.. hopefully i get replies soon.. it will be better if i get an office hour job so that it wud be better for me to concentrate with sch too.. hmm!! i hope everyone else is havin better days.. smile always.. nitex!!MuaX!!
| You Are a Natural Beauty! |
 You're the kind of beauty that every guy dreams about... One that looks good in the morning - without a stich of makeup That's doesn't mean you're a total hippie chic though You have style, but for you, style is effortless |
•I LoVe The Way U LuV Me*.
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