Why m i feelin this way...
U know gettin vasan out of my mind is the toughest thing eva.. not tat i can eva do so.. u know i watched a tamil movie called devathai kanden.. its abt a normal guy fallin in love with an educated gal.. she falls in love with him too.. n he really loves her a whole lot.. but wen it came to marraige decision she left her lover(babu aka danush) for a doctor, cos he was well to do n she imagined her life with both these guys n made her mind up tat livin with the rich guy would make her life easy.. so she would break babu's heart.. it really hurt me badly i guess im a sentimental freak but i kinda felt the pain for him.. n if i eva find a guy like him i dun care if he is rich or not.. cos i know with the love he has for me, he will sure find ways to come in life just to keep me company.. i started thinkin abt vasan.. me n vasan the story was the same but i didnt leave him cos i tot i wanted a luxurious life.. its cos he cant stand up for himself, his mum decides everything, she thinks he is always right, he lied to me, he can never make a decision on his own.. all he knows is his mum n wat she says.. I dun say the mum's at fault but if he continues this way he wont be living on his own n havin a family, well wat can i say.. all the love i had for him jus was for no use.. he assumes he loves me n he cant forget me but he has already moved on wit some gal who is in love with him, frankly i dun think any gal will like a guy wen they first meet after talks n outings is wen u like a guy, but i dunno abt their story.. jus wish him all the best.. as for me..as usual rejecting all the proposals n avoidin except one.. but i dun call it love.. Its bala n i guess a few of my frends know abt him.. eva since private o days which were back in 2002 or earlier gt to know him online n became frends.. it was love for him on the phone calls itself, as for me nothin drew me to him besides he was a pretty boy gd features n cute.. but we cudnt get along he was always fightin with me over whom i spoke too n so on wen i wasnt even his gal..n i jus moved away n lost contact.. till recently after a long long time.. met him he recognised me suprisingly.. k abt me nowadays i dun like lookin at anyone n i walk blindly to where im suppose to reach.. so the same way walkin n he stopped me n to my suprise it was him n he sure looked better n sounded more mature n changed.. cudnt talk for long cos i was rushin to work.. exchanged numbers, sms comes in without fail.. every single day tat im soo used to receive his msgs tat nowadays i keep checkin my phone wether i received his msgs or not.. he seems to be changed,but i guess not his love which he reminds me off everyday.. He is sweet, charmin bla bla oh n he calls me "baby" this piggy baby? totally no he admires me for the person i have grown up to be.. the kiddo he use to love is now a better woman it seems.. well well well i m growin up i guess... I dunno wat i call this i know it aint love but im scared it may become like tat.. i have known him for so long, know his character n so on but wats stoppin me, there is lots of things.. guys n love is a cycle everythin is sweet n beautiful at first then later part it becomes hatred n tat changes into unfrendly language n then its over.. so to prevent all this i dun ant anything.. i hope i settle it out with him, he kinda understands wat im goin thru but he is hurt cos he says "Eva since u left i have never loved anyone.. wat is holding me back.. i have always been tat special gal in his heart for this past 2 yrs.. he had my home number but didnt dare call to avoid home probs.., i knew i would see u n i finally did!" Awww sweet isnt it but im not fallin i feel liek im closin up all my doors n my heart is becomin a rock.. vasan is the person whom i fell in love with truly deeply madly but wen he left me he took everythin i gave him n forgot to give me back n tats y i feel tat i cant bring myself to give all this to someone else.. not now n jus not yet....
•I LoVe The Way U LuV Me*.
12:10 AM