~*My LoVe DiArY*~.

YWednesday, February 07, 2007

6th of Feb:I love him too much to allow anythin to happen to him, it was a tiring day for him at sch, he was pretty upset wit all tat happened at sch, so wen he met me he was already extremely tired.. we were ok, i jus didnt want him to do wat he wanted to do, he mistook my expressions to a yes.. but after tat i was upset, i wasnt mad t him, i jus was quiet, he asked me wat a few times and i said nothin, with that i wished he jus spoke to me normally and everything wud have gone fine, but he got mad and he didnt wanna talk to me too.. at the same time nori n her bf was havin misunderstandings, so were jus quiet, then rakesh had to go home early cos of his parents n a prob at home, it is true wat izan had to say, if he had told her earlier abt havin all this she wudnt have came all the way to meet him, but u know it was like no use askin him to stay cos he kept gettin calls from home every few mins, wen rakesh got down, i sat with her and paul sat behind me, by then i was ok, i missed him so i put my hand on his lap, he didnt react he was quiet and jus stared at me blankly, and i tried pinchin n everythin but he still seemed mad, so i jus sat quietly, wen we got off at yio chu kang, we sent nori back.. and tats wen everythin started, he was yellin at me, at y i had to keep a long face wen all he wants is to see me smile, he came all the way tired not to see this long face and all.. so i decided to keep quiet, went all the way near his place, both were quiet, i know he was very angry wit me.. i mean i didnt wanna start yellin at him cos i know he was tired, so i rather keep quiet and if he talks to me i sure will talk.. so we walked to this place where there are lots of benches and there is a river flowing.. we normally sit there.. once i sat he started askin me wat my probs was and so on, he was yellin and yellin, and ppl were passin by, wen there were ppl he wud lower down his volume.. i jus told him not to bother carry on yellin let everyone know we r fightin.. and he was pissed.. he kept askin me to talk to him and not keep so quiet, i said i have nothin to say, as i dun wanna be yelled at, and im not his punchin back to yell at me or vent his anger.. i know he had a hard day at sch, but u dun have to take it out at me.. and he started gettin very angry. i was scoldin him, and he jus souted at me to shut up, i got hurt and i started crying, wen he saw me crying his anger wore off, he started feelin real bad.. he was holdin me and i demanded him to get his hands off me, i asked him to leave me alone.. haiz!! things were goin bonkers.. but we made it all up, he became very upset for yellin at me, wit all the stress he has at sch, his pressure was goin up, and he cudnt control his tears... i got very afraid.. i didnt know how to control him, i also know his pressure is very high, and he hasnt seen a doc to have his pressure under control, weneva he gets extremely stressed his head spins and he will have difficulty breathin and all, i was very afraid.. while tryin to calm him down thinkin wat was gonna happen, i couldnt stop cryin.. he cudnt even speak properly.. i had medicated oil i massaged his head, while he was still sayin sprry for yellin, he was still cryin for makin me cry, wen i told him its ok nvm im fine now.. he still didnt wanna listen, i had to raise my voice n tell him its ok, i had to change topic n make him lie on me quietly, he was really dizzy, i jus calmed him down, i asked him abt our past, jus to make him stop thinkin nonsense.. and let his pressure come back to normal, he was so sad to hurt me and the fact that he has neva yelled at me, that he wanted to jus goget knocked down by a car and so on, i was really frightened, his tears the words he said are still very fresh in my mind, i want im to be ok, he always has headaches.. still hasnt gone to see a doc, i know wat he is doin i sch is killing him, for the points he got i know he is suppose to be in a betta course.. i know he is tryin his best.. jus try da.. no matter how long it takes im gonna wait, i promise.. im not goin anywhere.. dun worry.. if u have too much in ur head u cant concentrate.. we cried together yest.. hmm although it was bad at first it ended real sweet.. he said soo many things to me, i was badly affected by him and all tat he was going thru.. i cried myself to sleep last nite.. before sleepin i cried to him, he promised me he wud go see the doc as soon as he gets time and the money.. I mean pressure is not a normal thing.. for his age havin such a high pressure isnt good, my mum has it too.. and the doc always tells me that if she goes out of control and her pressure is very bad if the blood goes up and the vein breaks, the person may die.. im jus controllin my tears.. i dun wanna loose him nor my mum, both of them are closest to me.. I know tat im lucky to have found my darling, im gonna keep loving u.. muax!! Hope everyone had a gd day.. smilez!! Nitez!! i know nori ur havin a prob wit him, im sure tat will be settled.. jus be patient da.. i know ur hurt.. but lets hope everythin is really betta now.. I love u Paul Xavier!! MuaX!!

•I LoVe The Way U LuV Me*.
7:27 AM